Failing Suckssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to fail even if its my fault. SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like sh*t!!!!!!!!!! I feel so evillllllllllllll and I want to hurt somebody if I really really follow what my heart feelsssssssss. So of cause I will not murder people therefore I am going to wallow in self pity for a little bit. I just hate it when people try to cheer me up and say "don't feel sad, there is no failure, so you still can proof your self....""""""""FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! Just let me feel fucking miserable ok..For me its good and healthy to feel  bad from time to time. rather than pretending that everything is fine I just go ahead and accept that I am feeling like crap and just want some time to deal with it. .Depression can be so sweeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttt! So .never ask me not to feel sad cos I appreciate sadness just as much as I adore happiness...Its just like night and day, life and death, love and hate and winning and losing...Beauty and Beast.
As you probably notice I am not a normal person, I am not alien or anything just that I am handicapped like an autistic person that I don't see things like normal people do. Simple things especially  graphics may seem like rocket science to me. I just can't figure it out. So I always asked others to do graphs and charts for me.. Its like being a hair dresser and you just can't cut your own hair kind of thing..But I do have great visions but I need tell someone else how I want it done..and it becomes fantastic.!!!! Also as you all probably notice I have a way with words. I can express my self in literature just not charts and graphs..However in a corporate world as my bosses accurately called as Business Requirements...in a nice way "I SUCK" why so? I can't express myself in a formal presentation...I failed to tell "them" what I have done, so it must be:

1) I did a lot but not able to translate my actions into a half  hour presentation
2) I did a lot but what aaaa forgot lah...
3) I did nothing at all or I did some things not the right ones


It is no 1. Due to my "limitations" I am not able to simplify things. I see things exactly as they are and if I have to summarise them I feel constricted,caged and I cannot breathe feeling all of those things crushing in on me. Sometimes I feel that the world is not ready for people like me..fine..I don't want to change myself to fit other peoples description of how a leader should be. I am me. I am easily bored with norms any ways but....I am good with people (sometimes) not because I am a good and kind person but because being the way I am, I am over sensitive so I feel other peoples energy and vibes..and whether intentionally or not I bring out the very best and worst in people and guess which came out during that eventful D-day of 6th March 2012...

AQ??? Dear Boss, AQ does not work for everyone. Will I move on?? Of Cossssssss. Will I be able to perform? Definitely???? I just use SLSQ (Sharifah Liza Suriani Quotion)...Just want to add with people don't be so by the booklah!!!!! take a chance...its those you look down who will surprise you...the UNDERDOGS....(like me lah!)...Welcome to the Underdogs Club..

Miserable as hell but happy just to be me.....

Live Happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!! just like the little girl below.....kekkeekke

translation to Malay...

Hampeh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!